photo of the day...2011

My mom & I keep taking photos of each other...trying to "get the best shot".

So, this is my favorite. 

But, I like this one, too.

Even though my feet are not my best feature.

It's raining

These are my peppers.

In 6 months they will be sitting in my storage room in the form of salsa and pepper jelly.

Really, what I am thinking when I look at this photo is that I really hope that it isn't raining like this tomorrow.

Because I don't like to run in the rain.

I am supposed to run a 1/2 marathon tomorrow.

This is the one about my foot

This one may be a long one, but it's mostly for me. And I might want to warn you, it might not be pretty. I don't really know where this story begins so I will start with 1988, the year I graduated from high school. I was a cheerleader and my squad was pretty good, not as good as the state championship football team, but close. We were practicing for hours every day because we were to be in a National competition in CA. Somewhere in all of the practicing, I had landed on my knee/lower leg and chipped the bone. A few days later, one of my friends came up behind me and put her knees into my knees to make me bend my knees and the sudden jerking motion caused one of those little bone chips to poke into my tendon. VERY PAINFUL. So, a few weeks later I had knee surgery. As my mom was consulting with the orthopedic surgeon, they decided it was a good time to do surgery on my feet as well. I had had bunions since about the fifth grade. (Most likely hereditary since both of my Grandmothers had bunions). So, they did knee surgery and bunion surgery at the same time. Everything went well on the knee and the feet. But gradually over the years my feet slowly seemed to grow back into the old shape. (Instead of my big toe lining up nicely with the inside of my foot and the other toes, it grew this big bump on the side and the big toe pushed inward towards the other toes and making them all look smashed together.)

I didn't really have a problem with it until about 2 years ago. I had decided that I was ready to lose the baby weight (Cole was 2--it was about time, right?), we had finally moved in and settled into our new house, and it was New Years Resolution time. So, I decided that I wanted to run a half marathon. Rick and I had done some running in the past and we wanted to do something a little more organized and embark on some serious training. We read some books and found a program and started running.

It was going pretty well, until about spring break time. Rick and I were in St. George for a conference. We went on a six mile run and I practically had to crawl home. I thought I had just bruised the bottom of my foot. I took it easy for a few days. No improvement. Rick thought maybe I had a stress fracture for which there is really no treatment except to take it easy. So, I did that. The only problem is that my foot got worse not better.

I realize that this is not a great picture of anything, but you can see my toes down in the bottom, right where my 2nd and 3rd toes separate. (just in case you want to blame this on the running/training, don't. Looking back at pictures over the prior 5 years, my toes were already starting to do this before I was pregnant with Cole. My feet are wide and they have just spread over the years.)

I eventually went to the dr. on August 1, 2008. Dr. Rogers did an ultrasound on my foot and easily diagnosed a neuroma. It's an easy fix, he says. I have a neuroma because my foot is wide and the pressure from my foot being so wide where the bunion returned caused that part of my foot to squeeze together and after so long that caused the nerve between those toes to become inflamed and irritated. He shot the neuroma (inflamed nerve) with cortisone which works about 80% of the time. Let me just say, it hurts to get that shot. It helped for about a month or two. By the time I went back, I was in just as much pain as before. I mean pain like, I can't walk or stand for more than a few minutes at a time. I remember trying to fix dinner for the kids (mac & cheese--nothing fancy) and having to sit on a bar stool at the stove because I couldn't stand that long. Summer would get the ingredients out of the fridge for me and Sierra would set the table so that I didn't have to stand or walk. Pathetic.

I ended up having 3 cortisone shots. The last one i got just before we went to Hawaii just to see if it would help me get through those couple of weeks since we had that trip planned for months.

Then, on January 8, 2009 I had surgery on my foot. #1 to remove the neuroma (easy procedure, usually takes about 12 minutes) They cut between the 2 toes (my peace toes, as the dr. calls them) and remove the inflamed nerves. #2 to repair the bunion and straighten out my foot to hopefully reduce the sideways pressure on my foot and prevent any further nerve damage. Well, remember how I had had this procedure done once before? It hurt like hell the first time. my memory has not faded on that point. And this time around it hurt even more. The original surgery had left me with a staple in my foot to help the bone heal. We knew it was there, it showed up on the x-ray. But, Dr. Rogers was not prepared for the fact that the bone had grown over the staple. he eventually had to cut it in half (he told me he went to Home Depot to pick up some wire cutters while I was out). And the staple had barbs on it. It didn't come out nicely. He had to remove a lot more bone and do more repair work than he had anticipated. It took 2 hours longer for the surgery than he had planned. This time I have a pin, a screw and a plate in my foot to hold it together and help it heal.

When I woke up, I was in so much pain. They told me I could go home when the pain level got from a 10 down to a 5. I lied. It was more like 50. I just wanted to go home. It didn't get down to a 5 for about a month. I pretty much kept my entire foot iced 24 hours a day just to keep the swelling down and my foot numb.

After 4 weeks, I went back to get the cast off. I was nervous. The dr. x-rayed my foot and was quite pleased with the way my bunion was healing. He was pretty nervous considering the condition my foot was in after the surgery. He really didn't know how the outcome would be.

Everything was good at this point. I went home with a big black boot on my foot and crutches. This meant that I could now shower. However, I could not bear weight for at least another month. So, I had to shower on one foot or with crutches. Not easy, but better than the month before. As my foot began to heal and the swelling went down, my peace toes were coming back strong as ever. So, I kept my toes taped like this for the month I wore the black boot. The dr. was concerned. Once my bones were healed enough to bear weight, he told me to start walking and to keep my toes taped together. This was to strengthen my muscles and train the toes to stay straight and not separate.

It didn't really work. There was a lot of swelling from the surgery and with a dose of bad luck I got a lot of scar tissue which basically just caused my 2nd to to be permanently dislocated.

I tried everything to strengthen my toes. Rick would stretch my foot every night trying to loosen the joint and strengthen the muscles. So, in July I had another surgery. This time, they went in where the neuroma was before and cleaned out the scar tissue. Then they went further down on the outside of my foot and harvested a part of tendon. They cut the tendon on my 2nd toe that was causing it to pull over on top of my big toe. They attached the harvested tendon to the 2nd toe and basically reworked my foot so that the muscles and tendons were pulling my toes into a more correct position. This is what my foot looked like for a month:

I was beginning to feel a neuroma starting in my right foot, so I decided to have them remove the nerve on that foot at the same time. The dr. said it was a good thing because even though I was not in much pain on that foot at the time, the neuroma was already forming there and was actually larger than the one he had removed earlier from my left foot. So, I came home looking like this:

Both feet. Yip. Try getting to the bathroom without using your feet. Showering. Not easy. i couldn't get the pin foot wet for a month. I had a friend who had had this same procedure. She told me that in order to get the pin out your foot, they just go out back to the shed and grab some plyers and pull until it comes out. Great. I was whining to Rick about this. He said, "well, how do you think they got the pin in there?" I don't know. He makes this horrible sound like a dental tool and says, "They just drill in into your toe until it goes in as far as it needs to." I just about passed out after that conversation. When the dr. pulled it out, it was about 4 inches long.

Honestly, by this time I was pretty depressed. I couldn't do anything I wanted to. I hadn't been able to do anything I wanted to for months and months. I was tired of crutches, stitches, scars, screw, pins, and not being able to take my kids to the swimming pool. I know it was a holiday weekend and lots of people had plans. I had plans, too. I sat on the couch and watched TV for 12 hours a day and crawled to the bathroom from time to time. I did a little crocheting for variety.

It was a pretty hard time for me. Rick had trained for, and ran a marathon. I was so proud of him. But I was sad that I could not run with him. Summer got roller blades for her birthday and I just sat on the grass and watched. Cole learned how to ride a bike and I could not ride with him. It was hard. It's hard to be a mom and not be able to do mom things like, cook and clean and do fun things like go for walk and go swimming.

My depressed attitude only lasted for about a month--the length of time that I had the pin in my foot. By the time I got the pin out, I was so excited to be painfree and mobile again. The dr. said that he was not 100% thrilled with the way my toe still drifted to the side. But, as long as I was painfree and the toe was not still dislocated, I was in good shape.

Now, the problem was that I had pretty much been sedentary for 7 months. I had a better record than that when I was pregnant and puking every day. And I was a lot younger. I had a lot of time to make up for.

The dr. told me that the best thing for my foot was to use it. Run. Jump. Walk. Swim. I had to start slow. My foot was very tight. I had to start with stretching. Rick helped me--mostly because I didn't want to pay for a physical therapist. He worked me pretty good. The dr. is pleased with my range of motion considering that I have had the bunion joint reworked twice now and my toe was dislocated for so long. And I have muscles and tendons doing things that they weren't originally designed to do. I have a lot of swelling and I have to ice my foot a lot still. But, the swelling with gradually get better, but it may take up to 18 months after the surgery, so I still have another year left before the swelling is completely gone. I can't do lunges on my left foot. I try, but I have to do some modified moves.

So, this fall we went to Glacier National Park where we walked and walked and hiked and hiked and I did great. Some swelling, but it felt good for the most part.

When we got back from Glacier, we decided to start a training program. Rick and I had done Power 90 in the past and we thought it would be a good program to do again. One of Rick's partners is a coach and so he got us the P90x workout dvd's. We are 10 weeks into a 12 week program. It's hard. I'm not gonna lie. It's weight lifting. It works arms, legs, back, shoulders. There is also yoga and cardio. One of the cardio sessions is called Plyometrics. It is a 1 hour work out of legs and jumping exercises. WOW. that works my foot and legs. And the yoga is killer, but we love it. I have to say that my arms /back/shoulders are in better condition now than ever before. It's hard. I have never worked out so hard that I have thrown up, but I've come close in the past few weeks. You know you're working hard when you almost puke.

We have 2 weeks left int he program. I LOVE it. We will finish just before we go to Hawaii.

When we get back from Hawaii, Rick and I are going to do the P90x series again, but we are going to implement our Marathon training. Rick is going to do another full marathon and I am going to do a half. There are a few throughout the coming summer that will work with Rick's schedule. I'm so excited that we will be doing this together. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna be hard. But, I feel like I need to finish what I started. I want to make up for this last year of not doing anything. I want to do something that is hard and feel the satisfaction of the accomplishment. The furthest that I have run since this whole mess is 2 1/2 miles on the treadmill. I know that 13 miles is a long ways. I don't know if I will be able to run the whole thing. But I know I can walk it if I have to. But, either way I know I have to try. Rick has been really awesome with his encouragement and I look forward to the training. We will have fun and do it together.

oh, and I have the complete endorsement of my dr. He's been great, too. He says that now I have a brand new foot I should be able to do anything I put my mind to. Horray!

This is what my bionic foot looks like today:

April Wrap-Up

It's been a few days, so I thought I'd lay out some of the details of our last couple of weeks...

let see, we went to the zoo last week.  the weather was perfect.  Hogle zoo doesn't have very many animals.  but we still had a good time.

Cole said to Summer in the car the other day while driving home from piano:

"Summer, can you make your voice stop so I can talk?"  the funny thing is how much Cole and Summer are alike.  So, now any time anyone wants to say something we just announce, "Can you make your voice stop so I can talk?"

Foot update:  i went to the dr. last week.  Yes, the peace toes are still a problem.  Not getting any better.  The only solution is surgery to shorten/lengthen the tendons which will (hopefully) keep my foot aligned and reduce the pain and swelling.  It would require a 6 week recovery including pins in my toes to keep them from moving while the tendons heal ( the dr crossed. his fingers when he said that so whatever that means.  Nothing seems to be going smoothly with this darn foot)  so, that would be limited walking, No water/swimming, no running, no hiking, no yard work, etc.  I begged to have the surgery put off for a while.  The dr. said I could postpone it as long as I wanted to as long as I do certain things to keep the swelling down and I don't injure it any further.  So, I have to wear the elastic sock thing and keep some of my activities limited.  I was hoping that I would have to limit things like housework, laundry, cooking, and cleaning--but the dr. just laughed at that.  I can walk/run and exercise, I just have to keep my toes all taped together and be careful with swelling.  (all things that I have been doing for the last 2 months)  I will probably end up having the surgery in the fall when Rick has some time off, but before the end of the year--insurance.  Yippee.

So, speaking of exercise... I signed up for the Race for the Cure in SLC next weekend.  The girls are going to do it with me so I figure we'll just be walking.  I might be praying for rain.  So, if it rains AGAIN, you can blame me.  We got our t-shirts in the mail yesterday and the girls are wearing them today.  Summer and Sierra had the most hilarious conversation yesterday.  We have been talking about the "Race for the Cure" for a few weeks now.  And I had asked the girls if they would do it with me.  Sierra sort of missed the boat and thought she was racing to a "Cure" concert.  you know, Robert Smith?  anyways, she couldn't figure out why we were racing and we why we were all wearing the same t-shirt to the concert.  Summer had to explain the whole thing to her.  I think she's disappointed.  Oh well.  We'll make it up to her when we go to the U2 concert in the fall.  I won't make her race and she can wear whatever she wants.

And speaking of races.  A friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to do a local 5k with her.  I said yes, what was I thinking.  She knows my foot situation.  As a matter of fact, she's had the same surgeries as I have. So, she knew what she was getting into.  She said we could run/walk.  (This is where I run for 3 minutes and walk for 2.  It allows me to go further and longer and it lets my foot rest a little in between the running.  Jeff Galloway said it was a good idea and he's run 100+ marathons!!)  So, we might be walking; we might be run/walking.  yeah, right.  Sadie is a foot taller than I am.  her hips end at my shoulders.  She's totally athletic.  She'll be walking and I'll be sprinting.  I went to the gym yesterday to practice the run/walk on the treadmill just to see what my pace was.  a 14 minute mile.  AWESOME.  I could run faster than that when i was 7 months pregnant.  I might be praying for snow on the 23, too!

Rick ran 20 miles again last week.  he's hoping his first race ever is a marathon.  I think it's the Utah Valley Marathon in June.

We went to Summer's debate tournament in West Valley last week.  It was interesting.  Summer and her partner did quite well--until we saw the judges sheet and then we discovered that the judges thought the exact opposite as the parents did.  Oh well.  They had fun and we were proud of them.  (I never would have dared to get up in front of people and debate at that age--I wouldn't dare at any age)     

Summer's debate coach was informed that a major speaking part in a play that she is directing has to move before the play is performed and after observing Summer debate, has asked Summer to step in and be the narrator for a play that will be performed next month.  Horray.  More practices.  That's OK, Summer is thrilled.  

Play practices.

Choir practices and performances.

Gymnastics classes.

Piano classes and recitals.

I'm ready for SUMMER to get here.

  

   

Peace Toes

Peace Toes is what my dr. called my foot yesterday when I went in.  This is what he said about the whole thing.  The incision that follows down my big toe is where they did the bunionectomy.  It is healing, but not as straight as he would have liked.  He said that it may not ever bother me, but in the X-ray he can see that the end where my toe is is elevated an extra 2 millimeters.  The joint where my big toe connects is very stiff.  I have to work it and bend it at least twice  day or Hello Physical Therapy.    THEN, the spot where my peace toes are is where the nueroma was located.  It still hurts.  Like it did before surgery.  that makes me nervous.  The dr. said that they are still separated because of so much swelling (maybe because I was supposed to use crutches the entire time I had the black boot on, but I only used them for about half of the time.  oooops).  The joint of the #2 toe is rotated a little bit and almost dislocated.  Hopefully that is not permanent.  The ball of my foot is KILLING me.  The dr. said he did a lot of work in a little space and the fact that there is still pain and swelling is understandable.  You can kind of see how much swelling there is when you look at both feet together.

The dr. said absolutely no running for 4 more weeks until I can go back and have him check it.  Yeah right, like I would try to run.  First, it hurts too bad and second, I can barely walk.  How in the world can I run?

So, I hurt.  a lot more than I thought I would.

I am nervous that this problem/pain is permanent.

I am impatient.

I am tired of winter.

not for the weak...

here is the bionic foot:

update

I still can't walk.  Last week I needed a change of scenery.  It was getting pretty boring sitting on the couch.  And the dr. said it was good to get up and get around as much as I could.  so, we went to Sam's Club on Thursday (of course).  Rick said he would get me a "Jazzy" or whatever it's called, but I wanted to get up off my butt so I used crutches.  We bought just a few things that we needed.  It was a quick trip.  Rick said that he would go get the truck and pick me up at the curb.  I told him I would try to hobble out as far as I could.  When I got to the truck I was red faced, out of breath and about to die.  I had to grab a tissue to wipe the sweat from my brow.  Seriously.  The next morning when I woke up my arms and shoulders and back were so sore I thought I was going to die.  but, I needed to use the bathroom so I quickly grabbed my crutches and hobbled to the bathroom, moaning with each step.  How could my arms be so sore?  It was good, though because it took my mind off the pain in my foot, if only for a moment.  As the days go by, my arms AND my foot hurt less and less.  Sort of.  I still cannot put ANY weight on my foot.  I am trying to follow the dr's orders, EXACTLY, because if everything goes perfectly well, I can get this cast off in 2 weeks.  I will still have to wear one of those big black boot things and use crutches, but still that is a huge improvement in my mind.

So, I'm surviving.  thanks for all of your help, support, food, and prayers.  I will survive.  

I survived...

BARELY.

here is a close up of my toes.  One of them didn't make the picture, but I swear it's in there somewhere.  It seems as though I may have lost the feeling in my 2nd toe, but whatever.  it could be worse.   I asked the dr. before he did the surgery if he had actually performed this procedure before.  He informed me that he had already done 3 of them that morning, but none with the staple situation that I had. The whole "worst case scenario" situation certainly ended up being the case.  It took the dr. 30 extra minutes just to remove the staple that was left from the last surgery.  It had "barbs".  He said everything was fine after he finally went down to Home Depot and picked up the wire cutters.

When I woke up, the nurse asked me what my pain level was.  I said 7 because I knew that they wouldn't let me go home if I said 10.  The nurse patted me and said that she wouldn't let me go home until I was at a 5.  so, the next time she came in I lied and told her 5.  so, they sent me on my way with some ice and pain medication.  I threw up on the way home.  I don't care if that's too much information,  it's true.  For the first 24 hours, my mom, Rick, and the other mother babied me along as they cleaned my house and did the laundry.  Mostly I just wanted to sit and cry, but I knew that wouldn't make anything better.  I'm feeling better now, my pain level is 9.5

PS

Do not bring me cookies.  I'm serious. 

The shoes I wore yesterday...

AND

I LOVE shoes and these are my current favorite.

Happy November

I am seriously loving this weather. I have it on my calendar to go for a walk tomorrow (short and easy--no running, bummer).
But, when it gets cold, wet and slushy I am looking forward to wearing these:

My poor foot

Ok, so I keep hearing of people who have this stinking Neuroma foot thing.  I guess it's pretty common.  The only thing that bothers me is that every single one of them is a grandma with 14+ grandkids and is getting ready to send in their papers for their senior mission.  Well, except Sadie.  I guess I will follow her lead and become an obsessive biker chick.  I would hang with her more often except that she is 6 feet tall and skinny as a rail.  Makes me look 4 feet tall and 4 feet wide.  It's awesome.  I guess I'll see what the doc has to say tomorrow.  I think he will tell me that I have to give up skiing, too.  And probably chocolate.

  

Good News / Bad News

We'll start with the good news: No stress fracture or broken bones.  No problems relating to bunion/bunion surgery.  I have a basic neuroma.  Easy solution:  numb my foot and shoot it full of cortizone.  Right now my foot feels FABULOUS, but that is probably because it is still numb.  It will probably hurt badly over the weekend and the Dr. said that I absolutely must not whatsoever under any circumstances whatsoever do any housework or cooking.  I feel highly pressured to adhere strictly to the doctors recommendations.  (What is a nueroma, you ask?  well, if you look at the first picture you will see that my second and third toe are quite separated from each other.  well, there is a nerve that goes down the foot and then splits and part goes down one toe and the other nerve goes down the other toe.  Where the nerve splits is where is it inflamed and the pressure is pushing the two toes apart.  The pain begins in the ball of the foot and goes up through the foot.  It sort of feels like a little electric surge that comes and goes (and sometimes stays all day!)  They shoot that area full of cortizone and that should solve the problem)

I really might have a sore foot for the rest of the weekend, but the dr. said if all goes well I will be running by the first of the week!!!  I haven't been this excited to get out and run since I was 9 months pregnant and couldn't move faster than a waddle.

BAD NEWS:  (brief history--I had bunion surgery on this foot when I was 19.  My feet didn't necessarily hurt from the bunions, but my mom thought she was doing a little preventative care when we decided to do this because she saw how badly my Grandma Ethel suffered with bunions through her life.  The surgery was HORRIBLY painful and esthetically didn't do a thing for my feet.  They looked just as bad after the surgery as they did before.  Fast forward to today...the doctor said that a normal foot has an 8-9% angle between the 1st toe and the 2nd toe.  Mine is 18% which is about what it was before surgery 20 years ago.  I clearly have redeveloped the bunions.  He said that I don't need to have surgery again unless 1)  I have severe pain, which I don't really have any more pain now than I ever have and 2) I have feet deformities because of the bunion--which at this point is a matter of opinion--my feet ain't pretty, but neither are they quite deformed!  Sooooo, no need for further bunion surgery until I meet the above criteria.

More BAD NEWS:  Beginning sings of arthritis in that that huge, ugly toe joint of mine. 

But I don't mind if I can just get moving again.  Follow up appointment is scheduled for 4 weeks.  Keep your fingers (and toes) crossed for me and my feet!!